By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept

By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho

The days after i finished By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept, was very difficult for me because we, all book lovers, know that after turning that very last page of the book you really love was like saying goodbye to a friend that has been a part of your daily life. 


A journey about finding someone's self or someone's personality. For me, knowing who you are is the hardest thing in life to know. We can talk about chemistry the whole day, or talk about how many are the cute boys in campus all week. But talking about who we really are and what to do in life? Nahh, just do it yourself man. Because sometimes we pretend that we really know ourselves, but we always end up eating our own words. 

Pilar's journey to find herself. Finding yourself is better if it's done with a friend, especially with the one's you love. That's what she did. Her childhood friend, a person who's close to God and spent he's ten years travelling around the world, learning about different cultures, religions, and the representation of the feminine side of God in those different cultures. Someone who is fit enough to help her find herself, in a good and better way possible. 

Bury the past and move on. Pilar, a woman who has many struggles throughout her life and has been hurt by people in the past. She has failed the societal rules and struggles to suppress her happiness to cut here and there in order to fit into the societal mold. Throughout the book, she eases up, then turns back in fear of the unknown and the uncomfortable, even though it is more uncomfortable to live in her current skin, than take a chance to find true happiness. When the past has been taken away in your heart, it's the right time to let the happiness in life to fill in the spaces in your heart that has been filled with pain all your life.

Pilar changed herself in a good way when she surrender her old self into a better version of her to God. And everything else follows after which. That is because God is guiding her every step of the way. Sometimes, we are thought that God has abandoned us, when in fact, those days we are the one who is abandoning him in those situations. We keep on chasing different things when supposed He should be the one we are chasing. When Pilar began to chase who God is, that is the moment she made her life wonderful and worthy. 

Listen, God always have answers. Just know how to listen. Her childhood friend, who professed his love to her, and that she also loves, is still at seminary. They have to make a big decision between their love and his childhood's missionary. Good thing, Pilar made a good choice and learned the most special thing in life. That it is not enough to simply follow societal and religious rules, a person has to believe in God, or they will never know spiritual happiness.

Choosing between seminary or love is the hardest thing to do. But God always have an answer to every questions we have. Religion and love is fighting in your heart. When in fact religion and heart should be the one who is tandem in every way. We doesn't need to be at seminary when we want to serve God. But we can serve God in many ways. Like glorifying Him in your everyday life, It is a simple yet powerful of serving for God.

The moment we seek love, love begins to seek us. AND TO SAVE US. With their love, Pilar discovered who she is , and accept what she wants and how to get it. 

Love + God = Eternity

About a love, more faithful than the morning

I am so BLESSED to experience this AWESOME, LIFE CHANGING event in my life when I encountered Jesus Christ, accepted Him as my Lord and Savior and SURRENDERED everything to Him.

Let me share a brief story about my "Christian" Life before. I grew up with a Christian Family. I'd been in a Sunday School, attended D.V.B.S. (Daily Vacation Bible School) as well. And yes! I enjoyed what I had been doing as a part of Children Ministry.

Growing up, I'd been in to the point of asking "Is this what the real Christianity is?" And I admit that my relationship with God became COLD.. The enemy took advantage on me, sinning became a normal routine of my life. Bad words, cheating, talking back to my parents, lying, etc. And I also was a 'SUNDAY CHRISTIAN'. On fire on Sunday but the other days, I am a sinner. 

I thought I'll be like this all my life. I thought I'll be HOPELESS forever. But still, God made a way for me to get back to Him. One day, my friend, Abbygail Canono, invited me to go to GROUNDED, youth service in Victory Alabang. And when the first time I attended grounded, I really felt that God is with me. I felt His Holy Spirit. I just cried and cried and cried. And I also had  goose bumps. And even when I got home, I was so excited to share this experience to my parents. And they were so glad that I had that encounter with God. And since that day, I started to have a deep relationship with God.Now I know what the real Christianity is. I know why I am called to be a Christian. Because of God alone and no other reasons. Now I know what Christ did for me, that because of his Grace I have the power to say no to SINS and be saved through Jesus Alone.

I also had a 121 discipleship with my leader, Cassandra Cereza and Victory Weekend last November 2-3, 2012. Now, I have a mission, to let others experience God's love as well. To be an instrument of God to reach out others just like what Abbygail did to me. And I am so excited for the others to experience God's love as well. This heart changing experience that can change your life and your walk with God. The old me has gone, the new ENAH has come. :)

And I want to take this opportunity to honor those who helped me in my walk with God. My parents, my leader, Cassandra Cereza, my Groundeez friends and my ON-FIRE classmates. :)

"You didn't choose me. I chose You"- John 15:16

Whom Shall I fear?

FEAR. One word, pero sobrang powerful. It can control a person's life, hindrance to your dream or worst is, it can destroy YOU. Pero paano ba natin malalabanan yan e parang kasama na yan sa lifestyle ng isang tao? From the moment you wake up, hanggang sa pagtulog mo. Fear is with you. But if you think na imposibleng hindi mo ma-oovercome 'yang fear na yan, let me burst your bubbles, nothing is impossible with God who creates everything. Including your fear.

PHOBIA-defined as a persistent fear of an object. If you'll search the list of phobia, I'll give you a hint na marami talaga. Meaning marami tayong kinakatakutan. And I admit that I also have a phobia. I have a fear of rats or mice, MUROPHOBIA. I HATE RATS!!! Bata palang ako ayoko na nun. Lalo na yung mga black? OH MY!!!

I had an experience of having a fear to a person. Yung feeling mo may gagawin sayo 'tong taong to kaya hindi ka maka labas or maka lakad ng mag-isa lang. Pero it is amazing on how God changed my mindset. Bakit nga ba ako natatakot sa isang tao/bagay na wala naman kayang gawin akin? Bakit ako matatakot sa daga kung alam kong mas powerful ako sa kanya? Bakit ako matatakot sa sasabihin ng ibang tao kung sa lahat naman ng gagagwin mo may sasabihin sila? Bakit ako mahihiya sa mga tao eh si God lang naman ang kelangan kong i-please?  Kung mag re-rely lang tayo kay God, wala tayong dapat katakutan. Trust in Him. Try and tested na yan.  Put your fear into the hands of God and everything will be fine. In Him, kaya mong ma-overcome yung fear na yan. Kasi baka hindi mo alam, isang malaking blessing ang hinahadlangan ng fear mo na yan.

So, do you trust Him enough to let Him handle your fears?

"The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? (NLT)"-Hebrews 13:6